I went to Salt Lake City last week for a professional conference. I had a good time and enjoyed visiting a unique city. While there, I sent out some Salt Lake City updates via email to my family and some friends, but I decided to reprint those here, just for the fun of it (slightly edited):
Well, it’s my first day in Salt Lake, and here’s my report:
1. the Rocky Mountains look really cool from an airplane flying high above
2. the Salt Lake really IS “great” – it’s enormous!
3. the city is surrounded by snow-covered mountains – I can see mountains out my hotel window, which is cool
4. the keynote speaker at the opening ceremony was BORING – as in B-O-R-I-N-G – so I pretended that I had to go to the bathroom and I got out of there
I’m home sick… I think I’d rather be doing trivia challenge at Austin Avenue!
In case you’re interested (and if you’re not, you know where the Delete button is), here’s today’s report from Mormon-land:
1. It snowed today – I did not bring a coat.
2. I couldn’t see the mountains today – too much fog.
3. The sessions weren’t boring, except for the first one. Or maybe that’s because it was at 8:15 and I wasn’t awake yet.
4. The Mormon Temple is really really big. You can’t go in there unless you’ve been recommended by an elder and you wear all white, including your underwear. I don’t know any elders and I didn’t bring my white clothes. But some of my underwear is white.
5. I heard what the music is going to sound like when we all get to heaven. I went to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir’s weekly rehearsal. WOW!
6. Tonight was the first time I’ve ever eaten in a restaurant with a retractable roof.
7. Even in Salt Lake City, bums sleep in doorways downtown.
8. Those Mormons sure know how to plant flowers.
And now, without further ado, I present my last SLC report. Tomorrow I will have time to pack and sight-see, and then I fly back home tomorrow night. Here’s my report:
1. I like saying “y’all” and “fixing to” and “reckon” to people from Canada and Portland and Pittsburgh.
2. I’ve never seen so many tulips in my entire life.
3. I guess Olive Garden restaurants are the same everywhere you go, which is kinda reassuring.
4. I guess city light rail systems are the same everywhere you go, which is kinda depressing.
5. When I’m alone, I spend too much money.
6. If it weren’t for all the Mormons, this would be a really cool place to live.
7. People here are REALLY mad about the Texas raid on the polygamist compound in El Dorado. Last night there was a demonstration, and people had Texas flags with swastikas painted on them, and other people burned Texas flags. I’m a little bit hesitant to tell people where I’m from.
8. I have found the greatest, coolest bookstore on the planet.
9. The University of Utah is enormous.
10. Salt Lake City has the most interesting public library I’ve ever seen.
Well, that’s it for SLC. I wish I had had time to do/see/go/tour more, but I was there on the university’s dime, so I spent the majority of my time attending sessions and trying to learn something! By the way, I don’t have anything against Mormons. It’s just that there’s so many of them all in one place – it’s kinda weird. I saw a store called “Latter Day Bride” – I thought that was pretty unusual. I wondered if Mormon brides have to have special stuff, or was the store just hoping to appeal to the largest audience in town.
I’ll be posting a photoshow soon, and I’ll add the URL as soon as it’s available.